If you were to write a letter to yourself when you were younger, in your teens.. What you you say? What would your advice be? what you tell yourself you wish you knew then.. “If I knew then, what I knew now…” I know it’s a quote, I’ve used a lot over the last few years of being a grownup. I always tell my kids, how lucky they are, that they need to enjoy the time they have now, because when you grow up it sucks. Not exactly in those words, but it was close enough. When I was younger, the internet just really became a thing, internet chatting was a thing. I’m not going to go into a confessions post, however I will say, I’ve made some stupid, very stupid choices in my life, that I can not fixed, but they became lessons learned. Yea, maybe it took many and many mistakes to learn them, but hey.. I got it figured out a few 10 years later, lol.

If I knew then, what I know now…

I would tell myself.. You don’t need a boyfriend to be happy.. You don’t have to have boys tell you, you’re pretty.. You have to be confident enough in your self to know you’re amazing! Don’t lie… to your friends, family people closest to you, nothing hurts more than to lie to someone who cares about you and you care about them.. Be nice to your siblings, they’re the only family you got.. trust them, don’t lie to them, don’t call them names, LOVE them, cherish them.. be their best friend, stand up for them.. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have too.. SERIOUSLY! just stop.. you don’t have too.. Your first heartbreak is going to suck, you’re going to cry.. you’re going to cry a lot, but you’re a strong and you deserve the best, you will have the best.. WAIT!!!! Don’t do what I think you’re about to do.. it will change your life! it will.. trust me, I’m you! You’re plans for being married at 25 and having kids will come sooner than you hoped for.. but you know what, that baby girl will change your life forever and fill that broken heart with lots of love. Life but won’t be easy.. You will lose best friends, you will lose family members.. make the most of your life..

You’re going to end up pregnant your senior year of high school, but instead of having to feel guilty about it, prove everyone wrong, prove to everyone, just because you’re a pregnant single teen, that you can make it.. that you will make it! PS. You did, you graduated high school & you had a baby all within the same year, how many people can say they did that and didn’t give up… Oh, do me a favor.. please enjoy those 10+ hrs of sleep, while you have them, when you have kids.. You won’t remember what sleeping through the night is anymore.. You will find a new church that accepts you for you, accepts you for someone who makes mistakes, the fact they ACCEPT YOU.. makes you feel special.. This church and the people within it.. will change you.. You will be saved on Mother’s Day 2005, it will be 2nd’s happiest moment in your life.. Because there’s nothing better than God’s love.. Don’t give up on life.. It may not seem like you’re going to make it another day, but I promise you.. You will surpass the pain you’re going through.. You will find a guy that finally accepts the fact you’re a single mom and shows love both to you and your child. You will fall in love.. like the love you see in those love stories.. those fairy tale stories.. You will get married at 21.. you will be so happy.. you will have your little family.. and for once in your life, you will be HAPPY, when was the last time you were HAPPY? (besides when your first daughter was born).. You will become an Army wife.. which is pretty awesome.. You will have lots of military wives/gfs friends.. They will become your second family.. Oh by the way, you are going to have a son too! But don’t fret for long, because two more follow.. Yea, that’s right you will be a mom to FOUR KIDS! crazy isn’t it?

But that happy family you had going for a good 7 and a half years, ends… faster than it started and it will hurt.. oh it will hurt.. you will be sad, oh so sad.. but you don’t want to give up, you want to keep fighting.. until you are sick and tired of fighting for something that isn’t going to work.. which at that point, you will break down completely.. you will end up at the bottom of the barrel, but you know what they say about the bottom of the barrel.. the only place you can go from there is up.. it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.. it won’t be fast, it will take a few years.. but one day you will be happy! Just remember, you have to bet the best mom you can be, you gotta be there for your kids, they need the LOVE you are wanting to give them, they need to feel like they’re love.. They’re gonna need your support.. They’re going to NEED you.. so don’t do anything you will regret.. You must think of your children.. Oh, you will still have your nights, where you will cry alone.. and not really know why.. but it will be good to get the tears out.. You will have an amazing friend name, Amanda and she will be going through a pretty crappy year herself, but you to will keep each other alive.. you will depend on each other for the next two years more than ever before. She may be someone you never met and lives in your computer, but she will be forever your PiC, keep her she is pretty awesome!

One night, you’re thinking about just ending the pain.. one night you feel like you just can’t take it anymore.. You will be on YouTube, and you will find this guy’s video called, “The rescue” and it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE! It will change your life forever.. You will be forever grateful to this guy, more than he will ever know.. because of him, you will still wake to see another day.. Then through him, you will meet some amazing fans who become the closest friends you have, because you will all share a tight bond.. you all will be like family.. sisters/brothers.. and cherish them! They’re amazing.. Someone from your past.. You two weren’t friends before, you were told you had to hate each other, for whatever reasons.. you begin talking one day and she has basically became your best friend over night! You get each other, you’re like sisters, you can tell each other ANYTHING. You will be able to rant to her as she is to you and there’s no judgement.. She is amazing! Oh her name is Laura.. and she is BAE! You will have your dream job.. semi.. job.. you’re not HUGE yet, but you will be doing what makes you happy! Life will not be easy.. but God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle.. and let me tell you.. You happen to be very strong and you got this.. We got this.. We’re going to make it.. The future is looking awesome from here.. we’re going to prove everyone wrong! We made it this far.. We got this! But then again… what do I know.. I’m only human..

Finish the sentence “If I knew then what I know now..”