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49 Comments

  1. Awwww I’m so sorry that you have to spend Mother’s Day alone. It stinks that your ex won’t let the kids come over for a bit to spend time with their Mom on this special day. I hope you do have a Happy Mother’s day regardless. ((HUGS))

  2. I am so sorry that you’re not be able to spend time with your kids on Mother’s Day. At least you got your oldest daughter you and her will have to make a big deal out of the day just because.

  3. So sorry about the pain in not having custody of your child. I cant imagine what moms, like you, must go through emotionally. Big bear hug back atcha!!

  4. I am a child with no connections to my parents. This time of year is ridiculously hard because of all the propaganda about Mothers day or Fathers day. I couldn’t image losing someone this way though.

  5. everydaythoughtsbybrittany says:

    I am so sorry that this weekend will be so difficult for you. I’m glad you have your oldest daughter there to celebrate with you. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  6. I truly commend your strength and openness, as I am sure both Mother’s Day and your everyday situation are both not easy. Sending love and support from one mom to another.

  7. I can’t even imagine! My ex tried to fight me for custody but it became clear he ONLY did that to avoid paying child support! As soon as I let him off the hook for ALL support he stopped fighting me! I raised them without help in all ways. Yes, he had more money and the good lawyer so he could have technically won!
    I think a lot of people assume that if a mother lost custody of her kids she MUST have been a horrible mother because the theory is mom’s always win custody. That is just NOT true!
    Love to all mom’s out there who struggle with this.

  8. I’m so sorry your Mother’s Day isn’t going to be the way it should be (in my opinion). I hope you can still find a way to enjoy it with your oldest. Hang in!

  9. I am so sorry you don’t have custody. I couldn’t even fathom not having my child around. I so feel for you and everyone who has lost a child not only on Mother’s Day, but every day! 🙁

  10. Thank you for your openness and honesty about this issue. I too lost custody of my daughter. And yes, money always wins. I was lucky that my husband let me see her almost every weekend. Until he met his new wife. Then it was back to court. It was awful. But now she is almost 30 and we have the closest relationship. So, keep hope. The bonds cannot be broken between a mother and he children.

  11. This breaks my heart. I can’t imagine not having my kids in my life. I celebrate Mothers Day doing something fun with the kids. I still hope you have a blessed Mothers Day.

  12. Jessica Joachim says:

    This was heartbreaking. I could not imagine not having my kids with me every day. I have a good friend going through something similar and seeing her struggle breaks my heart.

  13. It is easy to forget moms that don’t have custody on Mother’s Day. My mom was like you and lost custody of my brother and sister because one of those “crazy reasons.”

  14. I’m so sorry that you have to spend the day without your three kids. Sending love and prayers your way.

  15. It’s nice that you presented a new angle to Mother’s Day celebration. I think though it’s not only those moms who don’t have custody who are troubled but also those who are living and working far away from their children to earn money.

  16. deekolb31 says:

    I’m so sorry you can’t spend Mother’s Day with all your kids, I hope you and your daughter have a special day together regardless.

  17. This truly looks like it was something that was difficult to write.
    It sounds like a lonely venture – best of luck to you.
    I hope your oldest daughter finds a balance with her siblings.

  18. It’s a very hard thing to do, I know my wife hates being separated from her kids over the normal course of her custody arrangement (joint physical and legal). To not have them on Mother’s Day would be heartbreaking.

  19. roxyturtle says:

    I cannot imagine being in your shoes, and I think this is an absolutely beautiful way to let other moms in the same situation know they are not alone, nor are they in any way less. Life throws us all curve balls sometimes.

  20. This must have been so incredibly difficult to write and I really appreciate you put all the effort and thought into it nonetheless. What a wonderful post that will touch so many women out there. Sending you lots of hugs xxx

  21. ascendingbutterfly says:

    Sorry to hear you are spending mothers day without all of your children, hope you and your oldest have a wonderful day together.

  22. evakidminds says:

    Happy Mother’s Day, Natalie! I can not even begin to imagine how horrible it must be for you. Hugs!

  23. First, Thank you so much for being brave enough to talk about motherhood and Mother’s Day from this perspective. I am grateful that you did. I apologize that it is so hard and I can only imagine how hard it truly is. Here is a virtual *hug*!

  24. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t imagine not being with my girls on mothers day. You just made me feel better about my day. I woke up, made my own coffee and breakfast. Received mothers day texts from friends and family before I did from anyone in my own house.

  25. Elizabeth O. says:

    I can only feel for fellow moms who are going through this. My heart breaks knowing that a mom cannot be with her children whenever she wants to. It’s not easy being a mom but it’s also more difficult to be a mom that’s away from her kids.

  26. I am so sorry that you don’t get to spend time with your kids. I feel your pain.

    My daughter hurt me really bad a few years ago and our relationship has been a strained ever since then. She surprised me and came to see me today.

  27. I can’t imagine how hard it is for mom’s to be without their kids on Mother’s Day. It must also be hard for the kids knowing they can’t spend that time with their mom as well.

  28. I know that the courts try to do what is right by the kids, but sometimes I don’t always feel like that is the case. More money shouldn’t mean custody. I feel sorry for any family who can’t spend time with each other on those special holidays.

  29. I never thought about this topic. I can’t imagine what they are going through especially during Mother’s Day. So sad and unfair!

  30. This is powerful. I couldn’t imagine. My mom died when I was 16 though and that always makes the day a little harder for me even though I have 7 of my own with me! I couldn’t imagine not having custody! Huge hugs to you.

  31. I am so sorry you can’t spend Mother’s Day with your children. I can’t even imagine what you must go through emotionally. Stay strong, giving you a giant virtual hug!

  32. I can’t even imagine the feeling. I really do not think that it is fair. Stay strong!

  33. It took a lot of guts to come out and talk about this. I am sure that this is a tough holiday for you. I pray that you will get your children back and you will have their love with you always.

  34. I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m not a Mom but I can’t imagine not being able to see your kids when you want.

  35. A giant bear hug to you too! How sad, knowing how you suffered when you were still in that struggling relationship. And the agony adds up when you had finally ended it, by being away from your kids, i cannot imagine how you bear all the pain. I really hope and pray that everything will go well with you. As they say, life is like a wheel, when you are down, there’s no other place to be next except being up! Thanks for sharing your story, it is an inspiration to me!

  36. This made me tear up. I can’t imagine how difficult this would be but I know from a friend who is in the same situation that it’s important to have the kids on these special days. She’s lucky in that respect, her ex hubby sounds opposite than yours. He makes sure she spends Mother’s Day and all other special occasions equally with the kids.

  37. This is such a beautiful post. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to not be able to be with your kids on Mother’s Day. So glad you were able to encourage a few with this.

  38. I’m so sorry for the pain that you’re going through. It’s so sad that we still have a destructive legal system that continues to tear families apart. They don’t realize that not only it affects the parents, but it affects the children as well. Sending a lot of hugs your way!

  39. Jeni Hawkins says:

    This was such an open piece! There are so many out there that are going through this.

  40. Keep your head up Mom! Praying for you! I know it’s rough! I am sorry! Thanks for sharing

  41. So sorry that you are dealing with this, especially on Mother’s Day. The one day to celebrate your love of being mommy to your kids.

  42. That would be hard to go through! My parents got divorced when I was 3 yrs old… my parents hated each other so much that my mom moved us to the USA to start fresh. My dad never fought for us. I grew up thinking my dad didn’t care about me because he called maybe 3 times out of my life and never came to visit me as a child or even send letters. 27 yrs later (at the age of 30) I had serious health problems and the doctors and surgeons said I only had 24-48hrs to live. My mom called my dad to break the news to him and he flew to the US and came to the hospital to be with me. He explained how hard it was for him to not be a part of my life, I could see the pain and emotion as he spoke from the heart. I have to say, it made me feel better to hear him say this and to be there for me when I really needed him. I was able to overcome the hurt and neglect and have peace of mind knowing he loved me all along.
    What I’m trying to say to you and maybe other non-custody parents is to be there as much as you can (no matter how: visits, calls, letters, photos, Skype, FB) Let them know how much you love them and speak to them from the heart, because there’s not much else that’s worse than not feeling loved or wanted by your own parent. And know when they are legal adults (18) custody is no longer a problem, they have the choice to be with you as much as they want.
    sorry this is long, it’s just that I can somewhat relate to the child side of this! It sux, but life does continue to happen and your kid will want to see you taking good care of yourself!

  43. Aww this must be hard. I know a few friends having to deal with this too and Mother’s Day is hard for them!

  44. My heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain. Mother’s Day is difficult for me too. I have a toxic mom. When I was 40, I told my mom that my boyfriend, my son and I were moving a few hours away. My mom told me she would ” get me ” in a spiteful tone. A month later, she took me to court for shared custody of my autistic son. We couldn’t afford a custody attorney. We didn’t have an attorney, my mom did. My mom used my benign brain tumor against me. My doctors would have never stated that my health issues would have made me an incompetent parent. My mom refuses to let him stay at our residence at all. My mom is vindictive and purposely keeps me in the dark about my son. She doesn’t involve me in any decisions regarding my son’s care. She doesn’t act like she has shared custody. She acts like she has full custody. I am concerned that my mom may even try to place him for adoption without my consent. My mom has told my other relatives that I will never get my son back. On Mother’s Day, my mom has the audacity to send me a Mother’s Day card. My son has lived with her for 9 years now. I don’t feel like a mother anymore. My son is autistic and doesn’t talk. My heart breaks for him. He is the true victim in this situation. Will be saying prayers for all of you Moms going through difficult times, especially on Mother’s Day.

  45. Thank you for this. I have been struggling for three years now and I feel I have reached my breaking point. We are stuck in this never ending battle for reunification therapy. We are on out third therapist. Not because of my behavior. Because of my ex being confrontational. My ex-husband left with my children on December 25th, 2016 while I was working as a Nurse Aide at a hospital. He had told me he would do this on a number of occassions; so I stayed with him. He abused me to the point where my older children saw it as the norm to do the same. I stayed with him. It took me a long time after he left to realize what he did was abuse. He only physically abused me a few times but he did emotional abuse. He verbally degraded me. He verbally abused me.

    I have never told my story to anyone because I have had people degrade me. CPS said my claims of abuse were baseless and that I was the abuser. I was told to give full custody and they would not pursue baseless charges I could not disprove. It was my word against my ex-husband and his high-powered lawyers.

    Mother’s day I cry now. I cry on Christmas. Holidays I loved and cherished I spin into a whirlwind of depression where I only get out of bed to go to work. My boyfriend ( god bless him) never knows what to say. How could he? He doesn’t understand the pain I go through. I don’t expect him to. No one understands.

    I really appreciated this. This makes me realize that I am not alone. This makes me realize that people are going through what I am going through.

    1. Girl, I want to give you a big ol’ hug!!!! You are most def NOT ALONE! You have a supportive boyfriend, that helps. But you’re correct, if you’re not going through it, you really don’t know the mental damage it puts on you as a person. I’ve learned to compress a lot of it, it helps and doesn’t. I also learn to fill the void with healthy things, like new hobbies, hanging out with friends, not being stuck doing nothing but my thoughts. I have a few friends who have been through this or are currently going through this and they all came to me, because I could relate. I’m really glad this helped you, if you need someone to chat with, my inbox is always opened, [email protected] — I’m here <3