You know what one of the hardest things is? Learning how to love yourself all over again. Whether you went years without self love or you were in a toxic relationship. Point being, Loving yourself is the hardest thing to train your brain to do. But once you love yourself, you can’t stop. It’s the best reward you could ever give yourself.
I’m a firm believer that you should give 100% to someone when you get into a new relationship. You need to be able to love every ounce of yourself, before you can pour your love into that relationship.
There’s that period after you have a major break up or divorce. People either choose to self destruct to the point where want to rebound their ex OR they can take that time to focus on yourself. My ex chose to jump into a relationship, hey whatever works for him. Me on the other hand, I’ve been since since the day he said he wanted to call it quits. I wanted to focus on myself. He tore me down until I was felt like I wasn’t worth a damn. I know now that I’m all that and a bag of chips.
I always get people asking me, “are you single?” “why is a beautiful girl like you single?” It’s simple people, there’s three reasons. 1) FREEDOM 2) No one has put in the effort to a relationship 3) self love. I’ve learned something over the last few years. You must love yourself before you can love another. Not saying, it’s taking me this long to love myself. More that, I am content with being single, I am content with the fact that I can live life without having to be in a relationship. Also I mean, we were married a long time, it would be 10 years on Friday (if we were still married). Anyways, I choose to be single.
When people are in toxic relationships, where the other person tears you down, you lose the self respect, self love you once had for yourself. It’s hard as hell to get back to that. It takes baby steps. I am in a better place now. I learn new stuff about myself everyday. This is also why, I tend to share my story with others, to let them know, there’s a rainbow after the storm. The storm isn’t as strong as it once was, it’s getting better day by day.
I am so focus on myself right now, my job, getting all my ducks in a row. Life is amazing, I am glad to go through what I did, to be where I am right now. Not all days are happy and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t stay there. As an amazing friend one said, “Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, at least you know you’re living..” words to live by. ♥
I’m always afraid of making mistakes. It’s something that really challenges me in everything. It is humbling to remember that everyone makes mistakes. Each time though we have a choice in how to proceed and we can move on and learn a lesson from them.
I agree that you have to love yourself to be able to love someone else, and that a relationship won’t work without this. Sorry to hear your ex left, but I’m glad you’re finding ways to love yourself and move on. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
This is a great post. I’m so glad you chose the path for loving yourself after your relationship ended. It sounds like you are on a great track. Visiting from #BehindTheBlogger
I just left a toxic friendship that left me devastated. I’m glad you are doing well!
Very true. We are our own worst critics. Being comfortable in your own skin is sexy.
Truth, I always tell myself that. I find time to spend alone no matter how busy I am