Being a fatherless daughter in today’s world is pretty common, but it shouldn’t be. Everyone should have a positive male role model in their life, but they don’t. I honestly wish I could wish it away or it never existed, because growing up without a father figure in your life makes it hard for you to trust a man or love one. As human beings, we learn through experiences, if we don’t have experiences with a father figure when we’re young, we’re never the same.
To my fatherless daughter,
It’s been me and you since day one! Before I met you, I already loved you. I was scared and alone, but I was happy. The odds weren’t in my favor and I didn’t have a lot of support. Your “father” wanted nothing to do with either of us, but it wasn’t your fault. I had you and that’s all I needed. It was my senior year of high school. The time kids are planning what college they’re going to and what they’re wearing to the prom. I was planning baby showers and what brand of diapers were the best.
I remember the day I finally got to meet you, it was a Sunday, it was Easter, you were my Easter baby. I couldn’t be more proud of you. After everyone left that day from visiting, it was just me and you and my life was complete. Yes, it didn’t happen in the order I wanted, but you were my rock and strength to keep going.
When you were almost 2 years old I met this guy and he was treated you like his own, I thought it was going to be perfect, I thought I finally found you someone that would be your forever dad. Someone to read your bedtime stories, someone to hold you when you were sad or having a bad day. Someone to have daddy & daughter dates with, someone who would love you as his own. We were perfect together…
We were doing great, we gave you a few more siblings along the way. You were happy, you were smiling, you continued to be my rock. Even when the only father figure who was there for you finally left. It completely broke me as a mother, i felt as if I failed you, I felt that it was my fault that you were fatherless.
As the months went by, he wasn’t the father figure he once was, he was far from it. Then the day he told me to tell you he wasn’t your real father. That was the moment I dreaded telling you for years, I wanted it to be something we told you together, but he wasn’t man enough to tell you to your face. I had to and it broke me.
[Tweet “Your dad broke your heart, before any boy could…”]
Your dad broke your heart, before any boy could and I was there with you to pick up the pieces. We have struggled a lot over the last 2 years baby girl, but we’re in this together. Always remember God is a father to the fatherless. – Psalms 68:5. 1 in 3 American children grow up without a father figure in their life.
I don’t know how it is growing up without a father figure, my dad was always an active father figure in my life. The time we spent living with my parents, you were spoiled by them. The quote always goes, it takes a village to raise a child, even when they’re fatherless. You have a few male role models in your life that would do anything for you.
Always remember that your mother is always here for you, through the thick and thin. One day, I may find a man who would be honored to have you as a daughter, because you’re the most beautiful, smart and creative person I know. You make me want to be a better version of myself. You’re forever my rock and I couldn’t do it without you. Even if it’s just you and me against the world, I will never leave you.
You may be a fatherless daughter, however you’re never really alone. You have hundreds of people who will always be there for you. Plenty of people will walk in and out of your life, but the ones who stick it through the thick and thin are the ones that are worth keeping.
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I had no idea that 1 in 3 American children have no father figure. Thank you for being brave to share your heart to your daughter in this letter. You are a wonderful mother to her.
Wow this letter is very inspiring. My boyfriend grew up without any father figure, and I’ve had a strained father relationship for a long time. It’s good to know nobody is alone.
This is a wonderful letter. A mom or dad raising a child without the other parent because they abdicated, is hard to assuage the hurts. Sometimes when that parent is much older, they regret what they did, although it doesn’t make up for abandoning responsibilities all those years.
I always admire moms like you that play the role of moms and dads. Your are brave and I am sure you are doing a fantastic job in raising your daughter. Beautiful words here. I hope your daughter values this when she is old enough to understand.
Wow. this post is so well written. Thank you for your authentic letter. I hope you know how amazing you are as a mother and a father for your daughter. I had no idea about the 1 and 3 stat about fatherless relationships. So sad. I know how lucky my kids are for a great dad in their corner.
What a beautiful letter to your daughter. I too was a single mother to my son being mom and dad is so hard, especially to a boy. I was lucky enough to meet someone when he was two and we have been together ever since. He’s 23 now but I remember the days when it was just him and I. You’re a great mom and she will always remember you stood by her and loved her.
This is such a wonderful letter! Your daughter is so lucky to have you and don’t forget that for a child the most important person is the mother! And you are always there for her! You must be proud of yourself!
WOW, what a touchy, wonderful letter to your daughter! The great thing about all of this is, she’ll always remember the love you showed and shared with her. To me, that is more “Priceless” then anything! You are a brave spirit that walks in the shoes of mom and dad and not many moms can do that!
Reading this breaks my heart as a dad. I can’t imagine ever not being there for my daughter. Although after dealing with things with her mother, I do know why some dads get overwhelmed. Some mother’s make it difficult for the dad’s in their children’s life. I am sure you are not one of those. But for those who are, please consider your kids and know that they should have a dad in their life. And they will feel it keenly if he isn’t there. . . even if you are there.
The dad of the other 3 uses them as pawns in his game against me and has custody of them. That’s a whole different blog post, lol. I agree kids should have both parents in their life, not all agree with this though and that within itself is heartbreaking.
This really resonates with me, because I grew up fatherless for most of my life and the couple of years that he was around, was filled with alcohol and abuse, verbal, mental and physical. Honestly, I grew up fatherless, but I did have male figures to look up to. My older brother, he did so much for me and my grandfather, my mom’s dad, he was our rock.
My mom, a hard working single mother, is who I look up to the most, however. She did so much and she always managed to keep us together and gave us what we needed. She was a better father figure and mother than I ever could have hoped for and a lot of my parenting values come from the hard work and things that she provided for us during hard times.
This is very beautifully written. You don’t realize the numbers until you read these statistics. I know many individuals who grew up without a father and you can tell that even many years down the road, there is that impact. My husband smoked for almost twenty years and I am very thankful he quit soon after we started dating, I wanted him to be there for his family.
The fact that your daughter had your father in her life is a plus. I will promise you that she will be stronger because of all she went through. Kudos to you for sharing your feelings with not only your daughter but to your readers as well.
A very touching and inspiring letter. My dad is a kind, patient and quite person, always got along terrific.
This is strong and touching. Single parents have it tough. I am very fortunate to have a father who loves me. Being a father to my kids has been one of the richest blessings in my life.
This post was so touching to read! I can relate on so many levels to this. Thank you for reminding me I’m not alone.
What a sweet letter to your daughter. You are raising her to be strong.
Very moved by this letter. Thank you for sharing it with us.
What an amazing letter.
I know too many fatherless daughters and sons, it breaks my heart. This is a very touching poignant post. your best yet
Being a single parent is never easy but often the bond between child and parent is very strong.
Such a moving letter.
Such a great read. My father actually raised me all on his own. I am lucky to have a good father for my son.
I love the inspirational value of this article. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.
Sad and touching piece. Thanks for share.