Getting Over Someone Who Wasn’t Yours: situationship 101
Getting over someone who wasn’t yours is a unique kind of heartbreak. You weren’t officially together, yet you shared all the emotions, closeness, and intensity of a real relationship. The emotional attachment feels just as real, and moving on can be just as challenging as if you were breaking up from a long-term partner. You might not be dealing with a traditional breakup, but the feelings are no less valid. Here’s how to navigate the healing process and finally move on from someone who was never truly yours.
1. Accept the Reality of the Situation
It’s hard to heal when you’re still holding onto the idea of what could’ve been. Recognize that while you may have shared deep moments and experiences, you weren’t officially in a relationship. Accepting that truth doesn’t mean your feelings were invalid—it just means acknowledging that the situation wasn’t what you wanted it to be.
2. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Just because there wasn’t a formal relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t grieve. You experienced real emotions, made real memories, and probably even had hopes for the future together. Give yourself permission to feel sad, angry, or disappointed, and let those emotions run their course. This is a necessary step to truly moving on.
3. Avoid Romanticizing the ‘Almost’
It’s easy to idealize an almost relationship because it never had the chance to fall apart in the way official relationships sometimes do. But it’s important to remember that if it were meant to be, it would have been. Don’t get stuck fantasizing about the “what ifs” or the moments that felt perfect. It’s time to focus on the bigger picture.
4. Cut Contact (At Least for a While)
If you find it difficult to get over someone, limiting or eliminating contact can be a big help. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to stay friends, but seeing or talking to them often will only make it harder to let go. Give yourself the space to heal without reminders of what could have been.
5. Invest in Self-Love and Personal Growth
Focus on your well-being, goals, and interests. Spend time doing things that make you happy and bring fulfillment to your life. Use this time to learn about yourself, discover new passions, and build confidence. Self-love is the best way to recover from emotional wounds.
6. Seek Closure for Yourself
In situations where you weren’t officially together, closure might not come from the other person. You may need to create your own closure by writing a letter you’ll never send or having a conversation with yourself about why it didn’t work out. Closure isn’t always about getting answers from someone else; it’s about making peace with the situation.
7. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Talk to friends who understand the situation, who will validate your feelings and be there to support you. Sharing your experiences and listening to others who’ve been through similar situations can help you feel less alone.
8. Focus on What You’ve Learned
While it’s painful to look back, try to reflect on what this “almost relationship” taught you. Maybe you learned more about what you truly want in a partner, or you realized some personal habits you’d like to change. Use these lessons to improve yourself and prepare for healthier future relationships.
9. Don’t Rush the Healing Process
It’s okay if you’re not “over it” as quickly as you thought you’d be. Healing from any form of attachment takes time, and that timeline is different for everyone. Be patient with yourself and allow healing to happen naturally.
10. Believe in Your Worth
Remember that your value doesn’t come from someone else’s ability to commit to you. You deserve someone who is all in, not just dipping their toes in the water. Believe in your worth and don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
10 Relatable Quotes for Getting Over Someone Who Wasn’t Yours
- “You don’t have to be in a relationship for it to break your heart.”
- “Letting go isn’t about giving up; it’s about accepting that some things weren’t meant to be.”
- “You can miss someone and still know you deserve better.”
- “It hurts to let go, but sometimes it hurts more to hold on.”
- “Sometimes, the hardest part is not letting go but rather learning to start over.”
- “The only closure you need is the realization that you deserve someone who won’t make you feel confused.”
- “Some situationships will teach you what real love isn’t.”
- “You may not have been official, but your feelings were still real.”
- “Moving on is about accepting what happened, not trying to change it.”
- “You deserve the kind of love that doesn’t make you question if you’re enough.”
