Not letting fear control my life any longer, sounds easy right? When you think about fear you think about watching a scary movie or doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Then there’s fear where you feel you’re in danger, but we’re not talking about those types of fear. We’re talking about the fear.
First, the good news: “Fear is an illusion,” Williamson writes. “Our craziness, paranoia, anxiety, and trauma are literally all imagined.”
The bad news? Although it may not be real, this fear can literally prevent us from seeing possibilities that are right there in front of us. In our minds, it plants crazy, untrue thoughts about ourselves and our abilities.
The problem I have been struggling with over the last few years is fear. I let both of these things get in the way of a lot of life changing events for me. With that said.
I need to work on both of them, I know it won’t happen over night. But there’s a number of things in my life. Once I overcome 1 simple fear, it will open so many doors.
But if I do, I know I have no other excuse standing in my way. When I opened up to a friend about it recently, I was like wow, that’s an eye opening moment. Once I share it with other people, they’re shocked, because it’s something most adults do without even thinking.
Do you want to know what it is? Driving. Yep, told you it was something simple, but since I was 17 (I’m about to be 33 at the end of the month) it’s been my fear.
About 66% of Americans experience driving anxiety, with 55% reporting they feel it while performing common driving maneuvers.
So that’s where being co-dependent on someone to give me a ride from point A to point B was my go to for the last 16 years. Now I got my permit back in 2015 and I drove a few times. Last January I went for the actual driving test and failed, but only because she could tell my nerves got the best of me.
But I did do it, I was suppose to go back, but I didn’t have a car to do the test with. See that’s the problem with North Carolina, you have to have insurance on a car before you take it for the drivers test.
But you have to have a license before you can get a car or insurance, so you have to find someone you can trust, they have to add you to theirs for a temp 30 day pass and use that.
In fact, it’s estimated that 12.5 percent of Americans will experience a specific phobia, like a driving phobia. While it might seem logical to link the fear of driving to a car accident, there are other reasons you may feel fear and anxiety when getting into a car.
So my goal for this year is at tax return time, buy a car. I have from now until about mid Febuary – March is when I normally get my return, because I file as soon as I am able to. Once I reach this milestone, it honestly opens about 10 doors for me.
Things as simple as I can drive myself to work, I can take Hailey and her friends places, I can drive places whenever I wanted to and didn’t have to depend on other people, I can go pick up the kids when it’s my time.
Heck, I can drive up to visit the kids just for a weekend. The possibilities are endless. There’s so much freedom in driving, so many people tell me this.
It’s not that I don’t want freedom, for so many years, I let fear sit in the driver’s seat, fear has gotten in the way of so many things. But this year this needs to change, I can’t let fear rule my life and my choices. I can’t let people tell me no, you won’t be good enough, you can’t do that.
Richard Brandt says
We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders.
Veronica Lee says
I fear driving too! I don’t even have a driver’s license! But mine is more of a disorder than fear. Sharing with you – https://ofmiceandramen.blogspot.com/2018/04/dysgeographica-spatially-challenged.html
Veronica Lee says
I’m not sure if my first comment went through but I was saying that I too, fear driving. But mine is more of a disorder than fear. Sharing this – https://ofmiceandramen.blogspot.com/2018/04/dysgeographica-spatially-challenged.html
Cathy French says
I have depression and anxiety and have experienced a lot of fears.
Lana simanovicki says
I have lots of fears with depression I wish I didn’t have any fears
June S. says
(NOT LETTING FEAR CONTROL MY LIFE ANY LONGER) Years ago I had a friend in Wisconsin that had a phobia of driving her car. I helped her a little bit every other day with just practicing in her own drive way. I do not know to this day if she ever starting driving again or not because I lost track of her after I moved down to Texas for a few years.
Jessica Cox says
Oh My Goodness, That was me until 2 years ago, I finally got my license at 32, I have learned to overcome my anxiety and I was just so tired of relying on other people for a ride . I still have bad days, and I still don’t go on the Interstate, and I suck at backing into a parking spot, forget parallel parking. I hope you can overcome your fear, and if you over need to talk with someone who has been in your shoes I would be happy to chat.
Natalie says
Glad to know im not alone worh this fear. My bday is at the end of the month.. i need to go practice, but its been raining every day lol
Jennifer Stapp says
Fear has stopped me from living my life fully, for sure. I am also afraid of driving and have lost my independence because of this. When I am able, I want to buy a cheap car and make sure I have one of those window breaker/seatbelt cutters. I have a recurring nightmare of driving, losing control and going into a pond, unable to get out of the car as it fills with water. I am so tired of letting fear rule my life! Good luck with your endeavor – I know you can do this!
Kelly says
I loved to drive. However, I was in an accident (not related to driving) and now cannot drive. So I know how difficult it is not to drive. You will be amazed by how much your life opens up and the opportunities you have and your family has, once you master this. You can do it!
Brenda King says
Love this article! I’ve decided not to allow fear to control me anymore
Jon Heil says
Yup Fear the Sweep Gods are failing but time to wake them up for 2019!
Rosie says
I had a fear about diving, not like deep sea diving, I mean like diving into a pool. I wanted to, but couldn’t bring myself to really try to put my head down first. Finally, one summer, that is all I did in my free time, practice and practice. I found a pool that it was only a small dip to try to dive. I still remember the first time I actually did a dive, even though teeny and not very fancy. I was so thrilled!!!! I wanted to shout it out!!! Yeaa! Then I had to do that same move, all summer long, I was bursting with pride and happiness, each time felt soo good! I haven’t had access to a pool now for ages, and I’d have to start over again, and don’t know if the fear would grip me like before, but now I know I can get over it. I think people who start driving as teens have it easier, in that at that age, they don’t tend to be as afraid as when people are more mature. Then the logistics of getting the license, the car, etc., it is a huge undertaking. It is good, though, if you can swing it, and fun to do small trips to a local store, or to stop by to see your relative. Just a few miles on a local road when the weather is good. It is a big expense to keep a car, so make sure you have enough for the total costs and maintenance, good tires. I love this post, and I’m so happy you shared. I tend to be a fraidy-cat, my sister still makes fun of me and says I’m neurotic, b/c she is more dare-devil, so thinks I’m like an old grandma!
Sarah L says
Driving can be nerve-racking but the benefits are much more. Good luck.
Dorothy Boucher says
I think we all have something in our own lives that we fear, but the good thing is that we can over come the fear and become a better person, a stronger person.
@tisonlyme143
ANN*H says
Thats me now at this age 71 yrs old I have fear of driving I didn’t when I was under age to drive and when I had my learners permit, I drove all the time then . But when I went to take my test the cop told me it was okay to back out tho I told him it was’nt because the car next to me pulled in at a angle instead of straight. He said no go ahead its fine the 2nd time so I tried it figuring maybe I misjudged . Well he lied to me and I put a tiny thin line on the ladies old beat up car. I could have fixed it was a small brush and paint in 10 minutes top. So I flunked . Found out later this cop had a habit of doing this. Never got my drivers license ever because of that.I get mad when I think of all I lost by never getting my license.
Brenda King says
I have learned over the years not to allow fear to paralyze my life. I began by taking small risks.
Sara Tarver says
I feel the same way about driving. I always get anxiety while doing it!
Brandon Sparks says
Everyone has some kind of fear of something. Thanks so much for sharing this. Great read..
rochelle haynes says
I know that this is right
Calvin says
Fear is an emotion that is important and it is a very large part of the world.. of course it won’t control you if you don’t let it
Margaret Porter says
Fear has stopped me in many things I feel I wanted to do. But didnt venture out. One good thing about being older is I am less fearful